On choosing childfree

I dreamt you into being last night
Two at a time, boys both, bright
And brooding and beautiful.  

At first, idyllic portrait—
Watching me watching you
Watching us wait for the faux click 
Of digital flash.

Me, you, us.
Babes in arms
No screaming, no misunderstanding.
No loitering hatred.  No real time resentment.  No fear.  No loss.  Just love.

But where could you fit in my life?
My life of solitude and silence
My life of solo navigation.
My life of fulfilment and joy.

And so I dream you into being
And we share a world
And every morning I abandon you.
At least you have each other, and will be waiting, 
Two at a time, boys both, bright
And brooding and beautiful.